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However, she hasnt told him about her bipolar disorderyet. [But] I truly believe when you share a life with someone, you need to be in it together,” she says. “Its hard not to kill the mood with your health secret, because its probably not something that can be easily segued from a topic you would normally discuss,” Davis says.She recommends a conversation bridge, such as, “I feel like were heading in a great direction, so I wanted to tell you something.” Just dont overdo it: “You dont want to frame this in a way that ends up making a bigger deal of something you dont want made into a big deal,” Dr. In other words, make your delivery as drama free as possible.Related links: Jill* knows that shell eventually have to confess her situation to a long-term partner.“Its something that will affect me if and when I settle down and have children, since I would not be able to take these medicines [while pregnant],” she explains.“As time went on, and I got more comfortable with this side of my life, so did the ease with which I told a man not to expect a tequila-scented smooch at the end of the night,” he says.“I realize my blurting-it-out style was my own insecurities about sobriety.“Its complicated if you withhold it and they find out too late.Dishonesty can ruin a potentially good relationship.” Jill*, the 33-year-old from New York City, is currently in a long-distance relationship. Be casual yet confident So exactly how does one reveal a secret without just blurting it out?
“How you handle this is not something your partner is likely to forget.” Laurie Davis, an online dating expert based in New York and Boston, suggests asking a friend what sounds most intimidating about your condition and getting his or her advice on how to smooth it over.
“You should definitely practice before you tell your match, or youll most likely fumble through the conversation uncomfortably.” Mark Snyder, a 32-year-old writer from New York City, used to dread telling a new boyfriend that he was a recovering alcoholic.
“I dont think I was ever able to shake off the feeling I was springing the information on him, usually when we were either out to dinner and he wanted to order a bottle of wine, or at a party where alcohol was introduced,” he says. Sorry.” That changed, however, as he got used to talking about his condition.
Dating someone new means learning about each other's quirky behaviors, emotional baggage, and the past experiences that have shaped both of your lives.
But what if this involves a health or medical secret you're hesitant to talk about?