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Marriage isn’t a great choice; it’s just the second-worst option.

For a man, it means he’s working to pay for his wife. If you chose “Absolutely freaking nothing,” then congratulations, you’re about halfway to earning a Bachelor’s in East Asian Studies.

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I stepped around some rain puddles on the asphalt as I walked past the same gray blocks of condominiums I do every day, and thought, There must be a thousand units, and someone living in each one.

Eventually I got to my own dark building and rode the elevator up.

If you are a real lover of big beautiful breasts, then you know that there is no such thing as too many large boobies.

Anyone who’s been in Japan for even a short while has seen the rows of shops offering all the usual services. I’ve lived in my current apartment building for, let’s see, about a year and a half now. Anyway, in that time the number of neighbors I’ve met is . Okay, so here’s a little quiz for you, to see how well you know Japanese culture: I figured I’d break the ice with a non-threatening situational observation, so I said in Japanese: “Yeah, another busy morning, huh? But for two Japanese people to strike up a conversation while in line at the grocery store? It’s a tad dingy and run-down, but the food’s solid.

(As an aside, I’ll add that “foreigners” aren’t allowed in. Every week, people pay me to sit in Starbucks and simply talk with them. Well, it’s hypothetically possible, I suppose, like Dark Matter or something. That means that if everyone else is having an awesome, sexy time, you’re more likely to as well. When it’s a sunny day, everybody’s happy, and when it rains, everybody’s glum. So I was talking this over with my colleague Fujimoto-sensei last week, and he said, “Ah, Ken, you should have seen it in the 90’s. Everybody was making money, people were positive, it was more fun. Then, “You know I used to have a wife and a girlfriend in those days. I think of it like an extra living room, which helps since my apartment’s so darn small.

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